Thanks A Lot, GRANDMA.
My mom is a special breed of grandma. A special breed of woman, really.
She brought Madeline a Playmobil pirate set when she came to visit last week (because those little guys are Madeline’s absolute favorite toys), and the following EDUCATIONAL MOMENT ensued.
Madeline: What’s this?
Grandma: That’s a cannon.
Madeline: What’s a cannon?
Grandma: Um… (Mom looks to me for help.)
Me: It’s a weapon.
(Whispers to mom, “Well, that’ a new concept.”)
It shoots a big heavy ball that blasts into the sides of other ships to sink them.
Madeline: And what’s this?
Me: That’s a pistol.
Madeline: What’s a pistol?
Me: A different kind of weapon.
Madeline: Does it sink ships too?
Grandma, in a misguided attempt to change the subject: OH LOOK!!! This guy has a peg-leg!
Madeline: What’s a peg-leg?
Grandma: His leg is made of wood.
Grandma: Umm…because it got cut off.
(long, thoughtful pause…)
And what’s this?
Grandma: Uh, that’s a skull.
Me: OH MY GOSH, MOM.
I should not be surprised. My mom once accidentally taught some neighborhood children the term “two-fisted drinker” in an attempt to be extra-supportive of their lemonade stand.
Eh, she’s Irish.