I am breaking radio silence today to tell you that I spent the week (offline) with my dearest friend Brooke. She’s also my cousin.
One time a lady on an elevator asked us if we were sisters. When we said “No,” the lady thought for a minute, and replied, “Ahhh. Twins.” Brooke is way smarter than that elevator lady.
Brooke is far and away one of the most sincere, generous, goofy, creative people I’ve ever met. Here is a quick recap of our friendship:
One time I saved Brooke from falling down a mountain.
One time we slept in refrigerator boxes in the back yard.
One time we went to Ikea and Brooke bought a really cool mirror and laid it on her bed. Then I jumped on the bed and broke it with my butt.
One time we smuggled a cat on a no-pets vacation.
One time we consumed 600 calories in three minutes (each – peanut butter on Oreos).
One time we got our hair braided in the Caribbean (painful and very ugly).
One time we evaded a police officer.
One time we memorized 2 Samuel 22 together.
One time we played Uno so speedily and competitively that an onlooker asked us if we practiced.
One time we lied about how much we loved homemade balogna so that we could feed it to stray cats.
One time we collided in a hallway because we had such an enormous crush on a boy who was passing that we literally lost control of our bodies.
One time we collided in an airport because we were so excited to see each other that we literally lost control of our bodies.
One time we collided in a roller rink because we’re both so bad at skating that we literally lost control of our bodies.
One time we watched Titanic three times in a row and cried.
One time we pulled the car onto the side of the road because we were can’t-see-the-road-crying over a Josh Groban song.
One time we recorded ourselves doing an interpretive dance to a Rascal Flatts song.
One time we wrote a poem about tube socks*.
One time I was out of half-and-half and Brooke put a gigantic scoop of ice cream in her coffee and said, “Look at me, solvin’ problems.”
Okay that coffee thing was this week. And I used what I will henceforth refer to as “The Brooke Method” this morning. I recommend it.
I am so glad that I got to spend some time with my friend.
* I dug through a box full of old cards and found a small, typed-out copy of our poem,”Tube Socks.” The alternate title is “Why Neither Of Us Became Poets.”
“Tube socks rock.
Tube socks roll.
My socks suck cuz they got a big hole.
Tube socks are soft.
Tube socks are smelly.
My tube socks give me lots of toe jelly.
Tube socks are warm.
Tube socks are long.
My tube socks are named Ching and Hong.”
[Kate, Brooke, and our ridiculous parents circa 2000]